Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
