There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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