Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
