you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I did not marry a roomba.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
