I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
