my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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