i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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