your thong is hanging out like whoa
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
