i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
