she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
