he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
