I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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