I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
