think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
