The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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