i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
