and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
