I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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