is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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