Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
