I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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