Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
