Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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