He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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