I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
