Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we made out on top of his cat.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
