So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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