She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
