We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My ass is underappreciated
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
