last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just pee around me
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
