This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
