Where did you get a picture of my penis
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
