I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
