are you still at the devil's house?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
