I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just blew my weed a kiss
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
