Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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