Need sex. Gaining weight.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
