So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
