either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
