I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
please come you make the beer taste better
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
