guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
