Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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