the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
