Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
