i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
