is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
