I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
