I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
