To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
