Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
