What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
